1. |
Intro
02:21
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(Part 1)
Sbassbear’s in it to win it
We got you 30 minutes
Then we're finished
But not before we got you spinnin from our gibberish
100% gimmicks
Impervious to critics
Impossible to mimic
Let's start from the beginning
Yeah that's sounds great dude
But I have a few questions
Like what happens after this?
And what does this button do? (NO DON’T PRESS THAT)
(PART 2)
What’s this button do?
You just won a dog
What’s this button do?
Dog is now a cat
What’s this button do?
You just saved the president
What’s this button do?
You just killed the president
What’s this button do?
Spoon hat incoming
What’s this button do?
Small head, big peen
What’s this button do?
Holocaust has been erased
What’s this button do?
Edible car big honk
What’s this button do?
Computer beeeeeeww
What’s this button do?
Talking’s harder now
What’s disbatodo?
Bush did 9/11
Whabedonton do?
You did 9/11
Whabendonboo?
You have betrayed the demon king
Whabendutondo?
Charle has awaken
Whabondutendo?
ROBOTRON ACTIVATE
Never put a spoon in the microwave
HELICOPTER
Never put a spoon in the Michaelwave
YOU’RE ADOPTED
Never put a spoon in the Michaelwave
POLLY POCKET
Never put a spoon in the Michaelwave
DO A KICKFLIP
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2. |
Boop Your Cat
00:45
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If you got a cat
You gotta boop ‘em on the nose (IT’S THE LAW)
If you got a cat
You gotta boop ‘em on the nose (EVERYBODY NOW)
Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop
Boop that cat
Boop Boop Boop Boop
Here is a picture of PeeWee Herman
Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop
Boop that cat
Boop Boop Boop Boop
Here we go have a good time (ice cream)
Boop your cat on the nose
You gotta boop that cat
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3. |
It's Mine Now
00:43
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I just touched a dog’s butt
It was his fault for being so cute
Gave him a treat
This is my dog now
Gonna name him bomb and bring em to the airport
I just touched a cat’s butt
It was his fault for looking so cool
Gave him a hat
This is my cat now
Gonna name him joke and tell him at a funeral
I just touched a bird’s butt
It was his fault for not having a mom
Gave him a worm
This is my bird now
Gonna name him anthrax, give him to the president
I just touched a bear’s butt
It was his fault for being in my house
Gave him a food...
Ahhhhhh the bear’s getting me ahhh someone help me ahhh
Hey Dan what’s goin’ on ahhhhhhhh
BEAR
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4. |
Questions Answered
00:13
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Where can you go to get a juice box?
Hah bah bah bah bah bah bahbahbah
Where can you go to get a juice box?
STORE
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5. |
Snack
00:48
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Sometimes you wanna get a snack
Other times you wanna get a different snack
You snack all the time
Then you will find
The snacks will get you fat
Snack time anytime
Snack time anytime
Snack ti-Hey Steven uh I was thinking maybe you should cancel this song please thank you thank you Hang up
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6. |
Grandpas of War
02:31
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Pretty soon yeah we’re gonna die
But tonight’s the night we ride
Breaking into nursing homes
Butterscotch candy owns
Huh, what, where am I?
Back in the day we walked 15 miles
Going on groovy adventures
We still do the same with our motor scooter gang
Don’t give a fuck about our dentures
Better watch out we’re the Grandpas of War
Riding ‘til the break of dawn
Damn whippersnappers this is our turf
So get the hell off our lawn
Take a pill everyday
Wearing diapers is ok
People think it’s cute when we steal
We’re so old some people call us dinosaurs
And we’re ok with that
What?
And we’re ok with that
Huh?
AND WE’RE OK WITH THAT
B 4
O 62
I 18
UH BINGO
Ok first of all I’ve only called 3 numbers guys and second of all none of you even have Bingo cards. How did you win?
I am a Grandpa riding with an attitude
Grandpas of War
Gonna settle the score
With the younger biker dudes
We are the elders wrinkled like a grape in the sun
Time is not our friend time is not our friend
Ride until we’re done
I am a Grandpa riding with an attitude
Grandpas of War
We said that before
We’re angry and we’re crude
We are the elders wrinkled like a grape in the sun
Prune juice fuels our rage prune juice fuels our rage
Prune juice
This song is brought to you by Prune Juice
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7. |
Bitta Bop Internet
01:12
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Sometimes you gotta bitta bop a internet
Bitta bop bop
Bitta bop
Sometimes you gotta bitta bop a internet
Honking having the time of your life
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8. |
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Nate:
If you see a bad guy shoot ‘em with a gun
Shoot ‘em with a gun
Batman his fucking ass GO
Duh duh duhduh duhduh duhduh
Be a hero and use a gun
Dan:
Wait a minute batman never ever seemed to use a gun
Batarang maybe, smoke bomb sure, but he never seems to murder
Nate:
Or does he
Or does he
Or does he
Or does he
Or does he
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9. |
Drugs
00:20
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Drug Drug Drug
Everybody now
Drug Drug DrugDrug Drug DrugDrug Drug Drug
Drug Drug DrugDrug Drug DrugDrug Drug Drug
Drug Drug DrugDrug Drug DrugDrug Drug Drug
Drug drug drug
Everybody now
Drug Drug DrugDrug Drug DrugDrug(DRUG) Drug Drug
Drug Drug DrugDrug Drug DrugDrug(DRUG) Drug Drug
Drug Drug DrugDrug Drug DrugDrug(DRUG) Drug Drug
Drug drug drug
Come on everybody do some drugs
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10. |
Duck Hunt
01:13
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I can't sleep cause there's too many stuffs in my head
I wanna shoot it out, (with a gun)
Somebody stop me
(Stop me)
Stop me
(Stop me)
Gun gun gun gun gun gun gun
Pa pa pa pow!
I try to kill these thoughts (with a pen)
I just want them out
It drives me crazy (like a car)
Without a seat belt
(Stick shift)
AC
(Window)
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
Honk honk honk CAR
Nate: I took a bunch of melatonin
Dan: Cause oxycontin is dangerous
Nate: I think I’m losing serotonin
Dan: And now I’m climbin a tree
Dan: It’s the kind of a tree that has blankets and sheets
Nate: I’m starting to think that this might not be tree
Dan: I might not be in a tree after all whoops
Both: A shaba daba panda lollipop I’m back in my bed
(So come on)
I can’t sleep cause there’s too many ducks in my pants
I gotta get em out (with a gun)
Somebody call that
(Stupid)
Fucking
(Dog from)
Duck Hunt Duck Hunt Duck Hunt
Duck duck duck goose
You know that game from Nintendo (it came with a gun)
You wanna shoot the dog (but you can’t)
Cause it will only
(Let you)
Shoot the
(Duck Hunt)
Gun gun gun gun gun gun gun LET’S ROB A BANK (ALARM)
Fuck I am awake I am ready for the day I need a bagel and a breakfast and I will get in the shower right now so I can wash my hair and catch the bus to get to work early before that dick from accounting gets there his name is Todd and he is the worst one time he took my parking spot while I was already parked in it-
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11. |
Jet Ski
00:57
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Jet ski you are my favorite bike for the ocean
You have a jet and you have a ski those are my favorite things and how did you know
Jump off the waves and do some flips
It's the best ways to get some points
If this life is a dream then you are my friend but this life isn't dream and I love you anyway
Bike for the ocean that’s a boatorcycle with your best friend if you got a seat for two
They ain’t got that shit at the Sea World
That got rid of that whale his name was Shampoo
Whoa whoa whoa it’s pronounced Shamu
Fucking idi(BEEP)
Steven you beeped the wrong word
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12. |
Cheese
00:33
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If you see a cheese on the side of the road
Put a hat on the cheese and now it’s a guy
And name him Bank
And get your gun and now you robbing the Bank
He was your friend
He made you rich
You bought a boat
A real cool boat
An awesome boat
The greatest boat
A real fast boat
The sharpest boat
A shiny boat
The biggest boat
A 3D boat
Your favorite boat
A super boat
The cleanest boat
You stole this boat
You fucked this boat
A penis boat
Boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat boat
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13. |
Drunk
01:38
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Having fun and drinking lots of beer is the best part of guys night out
Don’t have to worry ‘bout my wife
Or give a fuck about my job
Just get to focus on the fun
And get to see how many beers I can drink
I think its 40, or maybe it’s just 1
Oh shit little Jimmy, forgot you were here
Looks like you’ll have to drive us home
Don’t worry it’s not too very hard
Just take the wheel and press the go
He crashed into a tree immediately here come the cops
They don't look happy with their red blue
Jimmy it's all your fault
Cop: Sir do you know why we pulled you over
Guy: You didn't pull me over I crashed my car
Cop: Sir you’re in a parking lot
Guy: Jimmy parked right into a tree
Cop: Sir there’s no one here you’re all alone
Guy: I already told you Jimmy did it
Cop: Sir I have some news it’s pretty important. Jimmy isn’t real and neither am I
And the moral of the story is don’t do drunkahol
Because if you do it then you’ll end up just like Jimmy - GONE
So it doesn’t pay to drunk, jail is on the road and you dever you never know where it is - except you do cause it goes WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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14. |
Ocean
00:15
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I think the ocean is a cool place to be
Except for when you getting murdered and they put you on a boat
And they tie you to a brick and you sink until you’re dead
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15. |
I'm Crashing On You
01:21
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Girl I think you broke my hard drive
From the way you’re looking
Got my gferwghrtsERRORdddddddddCOMPUTER
When my data failed
Couldn’t E my mail
Now I lost this song ‘cause I’m breaking up
with you
I’m breaking up with you
I’m breaking uppppppp
Oh shit my computer cashed
Nothing good can ever last (nothing good can ever last)
Oh shit my computer cashed
The good times are corrupted (like a bad guy)
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16. |
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Honk honk beep beep I’m in jail
For murder
For murder
Honk honk beep beep I’m in jail
For the rest of my life
Cause I killed a guy
With a banana
Banana was actually gun
Pow pow pow pow DEAD
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17. |
Cunt
00:36
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My name’s cunt but that don't matter
This my gun, I named it God (God)
It shoots little tiny Bibles
If you bad guy have a book (book)
Here comes red blue
They all tell me
I did good job
Special prize (jail)
While I’m jail please feed my cat
He is a chonk
Him name is Fuck (fuck)
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18. |
Avant Garde Pop
01:30
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(Sounds)
Don’t cha know! (Wiba diba diba don’t cha know Wiba diba diba don’t cha know)
(Sounds)
Baby please (Wiba diba diba baby please Wib a diba diba baby please)
(Sounds)
In my car (Wiba diba diba in my car Wiba diba diba in my car)
(Sounds)
Where ya at (Wiba diba diba where ya at Wiba diba diba where ya at)
Bew chicka bew chicka sha nah nah nah and then a dance to the beat when the rhythm is feeling hot
REDACTED
Bew chicka bew chicka sha nah nah nah and then a dance to the beat when the rhythm is feeling hot
REDACTED
Bew chicka bew chicka sha nah nah nah and then a dance to the beat when the rhythm is feeling hot
REDACTED
Bew chicka bew chicka sha nah nah nah and then a dance to the beat when the rhythm is feeling hot
REDACTED
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19. |
Bullies
00:29
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Hey there Mr. Bully always making me feel down
Calling me such hurtful names and punching me into the ground
You make me want to die but I know what I should do
It's a simple solution everyone should do it too you’ve got to
Kill kill kill (kill them with kindness) x3
Kiss them on the mouth and never tell them you have herpes
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20. |
Nice Guy Rap
02:18
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When you see a grandma (help that bitch cross the street)
When you’re giving a massage (you should start with the feet)
When you’re stankin’ up the room (think about your hygiene)
When you’re writing a song (make sure it’s fuckin’ clean)
If you got some extra money (give it to those in need)
When you’re murdering a jerk (make sure that he bleeds)
When you see a hot girl (wait until she’s 18)
If you haven’t done it yet (you should get your vaccines)
This song goes out to all the people who need help
Cause if you’re mean it makes you die and then you go to a hell
So here’s some steps to help you prep to be a decent human being
For the murderers and thieves and supporters of a Trump
Step one: open the door
Step two: keep holding the door
Step three: never let go of the door
Step four: good job now you saved Bran Stark
If your dog’s a good boy (you should give him a treat)
When you don’t have a condom (try your best not to skeet)
When you see someone stressed out (you should give them some weed)
If the weather is hot (give someone a ice cream)
When you see someone is sad (you should show them a meme)
If you see the french elites (bring em to the guillotine)
If someone needs an organ (you should donate your spleen)
When you see a hot girl (maybe like leave her alone instead and don’t catcall her because women have a lot to deal with. Have you seen where babies come from? That shit’s a nightmare! I’m glad I ain’t got a vagi- YO THIS SONG GOES OUT TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
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21. |
How To Cure Depression
00:25
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Just remember someday you will die
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22. |
Cooking
00:40
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I put an ice cream on the stove
Chicken nugget chicken parm
Crush a grape and call it juice
Orange soda spaghett sauce
Put a cheese to make it good
Spill a milk but that's ok
Cut the rock with sharpest knife
Set the oven all the way
Stuff is burning
Fire truck
Continue to cook all the stuff
Burn down house down if you want
Go to favorite restaurant
La La La La cooking’s hard
Bah Bah Bah Bah cooking’s neat
Honk honk honk I'm a car
Beep beep beep you're a car
CAR
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23. |
Perjury
00:43
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Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Defendant: Fuck yeah I got a million billion penises
Bailiff: Okay sir that’s not exactly what I meant-
Defendant: Also I’m adopted and I pee in the bed
I got a girlfriend for my girlfriend
And a dog for my dog
I’m a clown by the day
And nothing at night
I need a cream for my butthole
Cause it gets way too dry
I’d have sex with a man
But I’m allergic to guys
Bailiff: Sir I think that maybe there’s a misunderstanding
The reason you’re here is for a parking ticket
Judge: ORDER IN THE COURT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING
Bailiff: Sir can you please just answer the question?
Defendant: I killed a guy and a buried him on the moon
He was my friend and his name was Benatello
I drove my car into the wall of someone's house
In my defense it was because he was a fuck jerk
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24. |
Fuck Jerk
00:15
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I’ll crash my car into your house ‘cause you’re a fuck jerk
Fuck jerk
Jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk
I don’t really need my car I’d rather tell you that you suck
Fuck jerk I’ll kill your house
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25. |
Notice Me
01:09
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Have you ever seen someone
Who's looking really cute
You want to be their friend
And get to fuck them
Do a dance or wear cool clothes
Are simple ways to get noticed
But sometimes
You just have to think outside of the box
I haven't felt this way before in my entire life
I start a fire so you'll notice me
I haven't felt this way before in my entire life
I'll kill a clown so you will notice me
I haven't felt this way before in my entire life
I'll shoot my face off so you'll notice me
I haven't felt this way before in my entire life
I'LL THROW MY DICK AT YOU SO YOU'LL NOTICE
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26. |
Mr. Jerk
00:33
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Hey hey Mr. Jerk Hey hey Mr. Jerk
Hey hey Mr. Jerk Hey hey Mr. Jerk
Mr Jerk breaks your car with a bomb and a gun
Going pee in your mouth cause he thinks that it’s fun
Sells all your stuff for his meth and his crack
And doesn’t even share what a dick!
(More like jerk!)
Hey hey Mr. Jerk Hey hey Mr. Jerk
Hey hey Mr. Jerk Hey hey Mr. Jerk
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27. |
The Braendons
01:09
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Brandon: My name is Brandon
How about I’m gonna rap now
Hang on wait a second who is this guy?
Brendon: Hey Brandon, can I be in your band-on?
Brandon: Sure man that's cool what is your name?
Brendon: My name is Brendon
Brandon: Shit, that's not gonna work
People get confused, not know which one we talking bout
How about… Now your name is John
Brendon: Wait, John with an H?
Brandon: Yo that’s up to you
John: Okay, I’ll be John with an H. But I’m thinking now you should be Jon without an H
Jon: Nah dude, now the problem’s even worse
John: Just give them all the lyrics
Jon: I’m quitting the band
We’re the Brandons and you know we like to rap
(We’re the Brendons and you know we like to rhyme)
People always say yo dude that’s fat
(People always say hey man that's nice)
Always on the same page a definitely
(Always on the same page a hundred percent)
Brandon: Hey my man, I think we saying some different stuff right now
Brendon: Well what do you want me to do about it?
Brandon: We should say the same stuff right now
Brendon: OK How do we do that?
Brandon: Just follow the lyrics at the bottom
Brendon: Oh yeah we could break the 4th wall that’s a brilliant idea good idea
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28. |
Steal
00:09
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I want to write a song for you
I want this song to make you laugh
I’ma rob a bank
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29. |
Food
00:42
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Every night I come home
And I think about food
Does a hotted dog count as a sandmitch?
Does murdering my wife count as a sandmitch?
Should I build it or just order Pizza
I'm kinda tired but concerned about my health
The super tasty constipates my heart
But everything's better than the taste of my gun
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30. |
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(Bacon)
I think I have a bacon problem
Cause I like it better than you (better than you)
Everytime I see it in the pan
I'm like why am I married to you instead of bacon (instead of bacon)
So went on down to Las Vegas
And I said “Your honor, can I marry this bacon?”
And he said “Dis is Las Vegas, uhh you can do whapever you want!"
And then I was like "...Dat’s cool...are we done-did we do it? Am I married?"
So I married me some bacon
You got my heart beating 500 miles an hour - and then I ate it (ate it)
My wife's not happy 'bout our prenup (prenup)
It says “I can do this 25 times”, but this is time 26 (time 26)
Ahhh nahh baby, when was 26 ever been the last time anyone’s ever did anything?
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31. |
||||
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Honk honk with all of my best friends (x8)
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32. |
Fuck Off A Bridge
00:50
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Telemarketers fuck off a bridge
Mmmhmm ‘cause you know you want to
Telemarketers fuck off a bridge
Just find your favorite bridge
Telemarketers fuck off a bridge
Just fuck off a bridge
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33. |
Everybody Wants to Live
00:23
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Everybody wants to live, baba daba da ba baaaaa
Nobody wants to die, baba daba da ba baaaaa
Most people are allergic to guns, baba daba da ba POW
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34. |
||||
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It started when we set our house on fire
The night was crisp but the fire kept us warm
A cop then arrived
The cop asked us why
We said we’re bored
Looked at the cop
And punched his face
His keys then dropped
We stole his car
Turned on the lights
And WEE WOO’ed down the street
You are hotter when we crime
You’re attractive when we crime
We robbed a bank
A pizza bank
Cause pizza is a treat
Burned it down
Found a jet
And flew it down the street
Crashed the jet
Seatbelt survived
Flashing lights
More cops arrived
We got away
Into the woods
And burned it down
Cause fire’s good
You are hotter when we
JAIL
WE WROTE THIS IN JAIL
WE ARE NOW ARRESTED
AND DAT’S THE END
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