When you see a grandma (help that bitch cross the street)
When you’re giving a massage (you should start with the feet)
When you’re stankin’ up the room (think about your hygiene)
When you’re writing a song (make sure it’s fuckin’ clean)
If you got some extra money (give it to those in need)
When you’re murdering a jerk (make sure that he bleeds)
When you see a hot girl (wait until she’s 18)
If you haven’t done it yet (you should get your vaccines)
This song goes out to all the people who need help
Cause if you’re mean it makes you die and then you go to a hell
So here’s some steps to help you prep to be a decent human being
For the murderers and thieves and supporters of a Trump
Step one: open the door
Step two: keep holding the door
Step three: never let go of the door
Step four: good job now you saved Bran Stark
If your dog’s a good boy (you should give him a treat)
When you don’t have a condom (try your best not to skeet)
When you see someone stressed out (you should give them some weed)
If the weather is hot (give someone a ice cream)
When you see someone is sad (you should show them a meme)
If you see the french elites (bring em to the guillotine)
If someone needs an organ (you should donate your spleen)
When you see a hot girl (maybe like leave her alone instead and don’t catcall her because women have a lot to deal with. Have you seen where babies come from? That shit’s a nightmare! I’m glad I ain’t got a vagi- YO THIS SONG GOES OUT TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
I love The Device Part 1 and Part 2 because it hits two of my deepest nostalgia buttons.
The listening to these two tracks in particular, parts of it make me think of Doom 2, which I played for a lot of my childhood. Parts of it make me think of classic Starcraft, which I played with my friends in high school. And parts of it sound like a beautiful marriage of those two sounds, and it just makes me happy. whimsy_floof
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 13, 2016