Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Defendant: Fuck yeah I got a million billion penises
Bailiff: Okay sir that’s not exactly what I meant-
Defendant: Also I’m adopted and I pee in the bed
I got a girlfriend for my girlfriend
And a dog for my dog
I’m a clown by the day
And nothing at night
I need a cream for my butthole
Cause it gets way too dry
I’d have sex with a man
But I’m allergic to guys
Bailiff: Sir I think that maybe there’s a misunderstanding
The reason you’re here is for a parking ticket
Judge: ORDER IN THE COURT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING
Bailiff: Sir can you please just answer the question?
Defendant: I killed a guy and a buried him on the moon
He was my friend and his name was Benatello
I drove my car into the wall of someone's house
In my defense it was because he was a fuck jerk
I love The Device Part 1 and Part 2 because it hits two of my deepest nostalgia buttons.
The listening to these two tracks in particular, parts of it make me think of Doom 2, which I played for a lot of my childhood. Parts of it make me think of classic Starcraft, which I played with my friends in high school. And parts of it sound like a beautiful marriage of those two sounds, and it just makes me happy. whimsy_floof
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 13, 2016